My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
