Your face is a jimmy john
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
