He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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