Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
