Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
