ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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