Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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