Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
