Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
