I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
