just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
