Don't you send me to vm
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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