Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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