Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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