How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
