Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
