My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
