I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
