Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im holly from the hills drunk
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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