By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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