It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
