Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize