.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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