I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I am spending my child support on dildos
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
