spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
