Duck Duck Cougar?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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