Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
