I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Randomize
