Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
