Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
