You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
