So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
