marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
