am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
All I want is dick and wine.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
