So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
