My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
