I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I love having hate sex.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
