Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
