Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
