Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
