Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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