now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
