At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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