dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
