I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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