I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
whose ass print is on the piano?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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