he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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