I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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