What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
