1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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