someone get that fucking seahorse.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
